SE: Well, Jar-Jar, Yo-Yo. Thank you both for taking the time to speak with me.

Yo-Yo: It's my pleasure.

Jar-Jar: Youso welcome. Jar-Jar big fan.

SE: Thank you both. Now I'll begin with a question for the two of you.

J: Youso weezah bringin' sumptah uumptah ta Jar-Jar.

SE: Umm, yes, Jar-Jar. Thank you. Now, Jar-Jar, it's been a number of years since your starring role in the Phantom Menace, and Yo-Yo, you've been an ongoing powerhouse of influence on modern classical music. How have you both been dealing with the triumphs and pitfalls of celebrity status?

J: Ahh-ohh-uh. Meesa been taking it well.

Y: What do you mean, modern classical?

SE: The modern movement of classical music.

Y: What are you, stupid? Modern classical is an oxymoron.

J: Someeehtime, Meesa can pee on parked cars ah'cause peoples think meesa a dog.

SE: Yo-Yo, I think that you can guess what I'm getting at here. I just want to know how you deal with being a celebrity.

Y: Then just ask the fucking question. Don't try and sound smart by saying something stupid like, "modern classical."

SE: I think that modern classical is a valid term.

Y: Oh, really? Valid where? Do you even listen to classical music?

SE: Of course I do.

Y: How many Grammies, you got, bitch?!

SE: Yo-Yo, please, I'm not going buy you another drink if you don't quiet down.

J: Gungans live in big drink!

Y: Shut the fuck up, Jar-Jar.

J: Yoosa no make Jar-Jar mad. Jar-Jar know Jedi.

Y: Jesus! What the fuck am I doing here?!

SE: Yo, calm down. I'll give you a sip of mine, okay, keep your voice down.

Y: What did you call me?

SE: Yo-Yo.

Y: No. you said Yo.

SE: No I didn't.

J: Yep-yep. Yoosa calldeda himma ah, Yo.

SE: Shut up, Jar-Jar.

Y: My name is, Yo-Yo, bitch. Get it?

SE: Okay. Fine. Let's get to the next question. This one is for you, Yo-Yo. You are a cellist of unprecedented talent in this time, or perhaps, any time. What legacy do you wish to leave behind?

J: Jar-Jar eat napkin! Kahh-kahh-kahhh-haha-ha-ha-ha!!!

SE: Jar-Jar, please, this question is for Yo-Yo.

J: Jar-Jar want to order now! Jar-Jar hungry!

SE: In a minute Jar-Jar...

J: Jar-Jar HUNGRY!

Y: If you don't shut that fucking retard up I'm going to break my cello over his head.

J: Jar-Jar stronger than little China man. Jar-Jar could break you!

Y: Go ahead and try it, aqualung! I fought my way out of Arkansas when the limo broke down!

J: Yoosa bring it on!

SE: Gentlemen, please! Now. This question is for both of you. Where do you see yourself in ten years? Yo-Yo?

Y: I am constantly on a search to perform to my audience in new ways. Excite, invigorate and enlighten people through the transcendental medium of music. My goal, overall, is to stimulate the imagination. What else is there to do, as a human being?

SE: Jar-Jar?

J: Jar-Jar strive to be on just one more Taco Bell cup.

SE: Interesting. Well, the waitress is coming over. Are you gentlemen ready to order?

Y: Yes. Four sake bombs and the creme broule.

J: Jar-Jar want seal. Medium. With tater-tots. And amma contractually obligated to order Coke for everyone.

Waitress: We don't serve seal.

J: But, Jar-Jar want seal.

W: I'm sorry, sir. We do not serve seal.

SE: Thank you both for taking the time with me today. My reader really appreciates it.

J: Jar-Jar demand fuckin' seal!

W: Well you ain't getting' seal you pixilated stereotypical bitch!!!

(A fight ensues)

THE END